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Selena's Flower (1990/99)
Selena first noticed the flower on Tuesday, outside
the jeweler's shop. Every Tuesday, during her lunch hour, she would
stand in front of the huge display window and look at the rows of
expensive clocks and watches arranged on little velvet pedestals,
their price tags tucked discreetly beneath. One by one, she would
compare the time showing on the jeweler's clocks with that of her
own wristwatch. After each comparison, Selena would smile to herself
at the discovery that no timepiece ever told the same time as hers.
The watch strapped to her wrist had been a present
from her grandmother on Selena's nineteenth birthday and had quietly
ticked away for the past decade without needing anything more than
a daily winding. Over the years, Selena had come to believe that
her watch was the only one in the world that told the correct time.
Whenever she looked at its white dial with the tiny Roman numerals
picked out in gold, Selena would think of all the people rushing
by, completely unaware of the real time.
But, more than just showing the correct time, Selena
knew that her watch indicated something else. A something that was,
well.. something else. She couldn't explain it, but she knew something
incredible would happen if the watch ever stopped.
So, every day, with almost religious devotion,
Selena carefully wound the tiny silver knob on the side of her watch
until the invisible spring inside had stored another twenty-four
hours of movement. And, every Tuesday, no matter what the weather,
Selena would stand outside the jewelry shop and compare her watch
with those on display. She had long ago stopped wondering why she
had felt compelled to stand there and perform that little ritual,
but she felt that it was more than just proving to herself the uniqueness
of her watch.
Perhaps it was a reflection on the window glass,
or even the sound of someone dropping a coin on the footpath, but
on this Tuesday Selena's attention was momentarily diverted to the
base of the Jeweler's window. There, growing out of the narrow crack
between the window frame and the glass, was a small bright-red flower.
Despite its unlikely location, it seemed to be a fairly ordinary
sort of flower, with a cluster of crimson petals radiating from
a central crown. Then Selena noticed that it was far from ordinary
- it had red leaves and a red stem.
She stood there a while looking down at the flower,
her forehead resting against the cool glass of the window. She felt
no desire to look more closely at the blossom or any wish to pick
it, or indeed any feeling at all towards it. It never entered Selena's
mind to question the unlikeness of the flower's location or the
strangeness of its colouring; she simply accepted it.
The City Hall clock chimed one o'clock - thirty
seconds too early - and Selena started walking back to her bookstore.
The flower was not forgotten, but simply stored away in the part
of her mind that dealt with all things strange.
Selena's bookstore, The Journey's End, was
squeezed between a cafe and a shoe store, at the base of one of
the city's turn-of-the-century office buildings. The bookstore was
tiny, barely large enough for a counter and three sets of floor-to-ceiling
shelves, but as Selena only stocked rare and unusual volumes, it
had proved more than adequate. Although sales from the shop were
infrequent, she still managed to make a good living. Last year,
an 1885 first edition of Zola's Germinal had paid all the
bills and two years before that a collector from New York had taken
care of Selena's mortgage with his offer on a copy of Voltaire's
Candide with handwritten author's notes.
Selena unlocked the front door of the bookshop
and pushed it open. It swung inwards most of the way then banged
against something that had been dropped through the mail slot. She
went inside, closed the door behind her and picked up a brown-paper
wrapped parcel lying on the floor. She turned it over, looking for
any indication of who sent it, before putting it on the counter
and unwrapping the paper. Inside was a thin leather-bound book,
the cover embossed with odd markings. Selena opened it and leafed
carefully through the pages, but could make no sense of the strange
characters and symbols snaking across the parchment. Looking once
more at the wrapping paper to see if see could find any information
about a sender, she finally set the volume aside, on top of a pile
of books she had yet to shelve. It was, she decided, a day where
odd things were destined to happen.
That evening, when she got home, she thought about
the red flower. Selena lived in an apartment block overlooking the
river, a short ferry ride from the city. Her balcony had a magnificent
view of the city reach of the river and the lights of the skyscrapers
provided a sparkling backdrop at night. Selena changed from her
work clothes into an old pair of jeans and her favourite sweater,
poured herself a glass of wine and opened the large sliding door
to the balcony. The warm summer air was filled with the sickly-sweet
smell of jasmine and the faint hum of traffic on the expressway.
She dropped into one of the easy-chairs and took a sip of her wine.
Of course, the flower might not be real. Most people
would think that a flower with red leaves and a red stem was artificial.
Selena, however, wasn't like most people. Not only did she know
it was real, she knew it was her flower. Perhaps she should pick
it. Or perhaps she should just leave it alone - something told her
that it wasn't yet time to pluck the flower from the jeweler's window.
In the distance, very faintly, she heard the City
Hall clock strike eight o'clock, and she automatically glanced at
her wristwatch. The second hand swept up to the number twelve -
exactly thirty seconds after the last chime of the City Hall clock
had died away, as usual.
The next day Selena left the bookstore at noon,
carefully locking the door behind her. She walked through the lunchtime
crowds to the jeweler's shop, but instead of checking her watch
against those in the window, she leaned against one of the big old
jacaranda trees lining the street and looked at the flower. It was
still there, seemingly unchanged, its bright red colour contrasting
with the white-painted timber window frame of the shop. A jacaranda
blossom drifted down from the branches above and caught in her hair.
Selena reached up and gently took the purple flower in her fingers.
She brushed it against her lips, feeling its sensual softness and
breathing in the delicate fragrance.
No one else, it seemed, noticed the red flower
growing out of the jeweler's window. Occasionally, a person walking
past brushed against the window, but somehow, they never seemed
to touch the flower. Even when the jeweler's assistant came outside
to clean the window of its morning accumulation of fingerprints
and smudges, his polishing cloth always seemed to glide around the
flower.
"So, why don't you pick it?" a voice
asked.
Selena looked around to find an old lady, perched
on the edge of a nearby bus-stop seat, squinting at her through
a set of thick spectacles.
"You can see it?" asked Selena.
The old lady frowned at the obvious question, ignoring
it. She struggled to her feet, leaning heavily on her walking stick,
and shuffled over. Selena noticed that the woman's clothes were
old and threadbare, but clean. Her wispy hair, peeking out from
beneath a faded brown felt hat, was almost pure white except for
random flecks of dark grey. She raised he walking stick suddenly,
and for a moment Selena thought she was going strike her, but the
woman jerked the stick in the direction of the jeweler's window.
"I said, why don't you pick it?"
Selena shrugged, more intrigued than intimidated
by the strange little woman. "I don' think it's time yet,"
she said.
"When will it be time, then?," demanded
the woman.
"I don't know," replied Selena.
The old lady stared intently at Selena, her eyes
looking enormous behind the thick lenses of her spectacles. Selena
held her gaze, unruffled by the inquisition. She found nothing particularly
frightening or unsettling about the woman - quite the opposite;
there was a comfortable familiarity about her.
"Do you know what the flower means?"
Selena asked.
"Of course," replied the old lady.
"But you're not going to tell me," Selena
finished.
"My, you're a quick one!"
Selena didn't know if the old woman was being sarcastic
or offering a compliment. She suspected the former.
"You haven't read the book yet, have you?"
It was more of an accusation than a question.
"You'll have to be more specific," said
Selena. "I own a bookshop, you know."
The old woman rolled her eyes upwards, as if appealing
for divine assistance. "There must be some mistake," she
said to no-one in particular. "It can't be this one - she's
a thick as a brick." The old woman raised her walking stick
again and this time she did strike Selena, tapping her lightly on
the forehead. Selena didn't flinch.
"The book, girl. The book I sent you yesterday."
Selena suddenly remembered the brown-paper parcel
she had found yesterday. "Oh, so you sent it. But, I can't
read it," Selena said. "It seems to be written in some
strange language."
"In some strange language?" repeated
the woman, quietly, but with passion. "In some strange language!"
She rolled her eyes again. "Of course it's written in some
strange language; did you expect it to be in plain English?"
"I didn't expect anything," replied Selena
evenly. "Look, I'm trying to understand you. Anyone else would
have written you off as a loony by now."
This seemed to quieten the old woman. "All
right, all right," she muttered. "Maybe you just need
more help than I did." She stared at Selena again. "I'll
give you a hint; the first phrase is 'For the true nature...'
- if you can't work it out from there, I give up."
"That's all very well and good," said
Selena, doubtfully, "But you still haven't explained much."
"It's all in the book. I have to go now,"
said the old woman, as a bus pulled up at the bus-stop with as squeal
of brakes and a loud hiss. "Here's the twelve-fifteen - late
as usual, I'll bet."
She reached into her coat and pulled out an old
pocket watch on a chain. It had an ornately carved silver case and
when the woman flipped it open, Selena saw that the white dial had
the Roman numerals picked out in gold like her own wristwatch. Selena
automatically glanced at her own watch and was startled to see that
it seemed to show the same time as the old woman's watch. There
was one major difference, however, the second hand of the old woman's
watch seemed to be stuck at twelve.
The old woman snapped shut the case of her watch
and shuffled back to the bus stop without so much as a glance at
Selena. With some difficulty, she climbed the steps of the bus and
Selena heard her voice berating the driver for his tardiness. The
door hissed shut and, belching black diesel soot, the bus pulled
away from the curb.
When she returned to the bookstore, Selena retrieved
the strange book from the stack on which she had placed it yesterday.
Laying it on the counter, she perched herself on a stool, took a
deep breath, and opened the cover of the slim volume. She focused
on the first paragraph - or at least what looked like a paragraph;
the groupings of symbols and characters seemed to wander aimlessly
about the page. She tried to mentally organise the beginning few
words into a pattern that would fit what the old woman had said,
but despite staring intently and willing something meaningful to
appear, nothing happened.
After ten minutes, Selena admitted defeat and put
the book aside again. She spent the rest of the afternoon sorting
books and shelving. Selena found that it was often best to let strange
things work themselves out. She'd take the book home tonight and
have another try.
By the time she had settled into a chair on her
balcony that evening, the full moon had risen from behind the cityscape
into a clear night sky. Selena looked down on the river, sipping
her wine and watching the ferries putter back and forth across the
river. The book lay in her lap. On a whim, she turned it over, noticing
for the first time that the back cover looked identical to the front
cover. She flipped it back and forth a few times, but could discern
no difference. She opened the book again and looked at the first
page - nothing; still a meaningless scattering of symbols.
She shut the book and made a mark in one corner
of the leather with her thumbnail. Turning the book over she reopened
it and words suddenly leapt clearly off the paper. Sentences fell
into place, neatly arranging themselves into orderly paragraphs.
Selena read the first sentence: 'For the true nature of reality
to be understood, it is first necessary to discard any belief in
it.'
Selena closed the book an looked at what she now
knew was the front cover. As she watched, the meaningless embossed
markings seemed to squirm and move on the leather, slowly forming
into words: 'A Treatise on the Nature of Reality.'
"How very Steppenwolf," she murmured.
It wasn't a very long book. It took her less than
half an hour to read it completely. When she had finished, she stood
up, stretched, and walked inside to pour herself another glass of
wine.
She re-read the book twice more before she went
to bed. In the morning, she read it again, lingering over breakfast
much longer than was usual for her. It made her late for opening
the bookshop, but that didn't seem to matter any more. At noon,
instead of locking up the shop, Selena sat behind the counter and
waited.
At half-past twelve, the front door opened and
the old lady shuffled in.
"Did you read it?" she said, without
preamble.
Selena picked up the book and let it dangle between
her thumb and forefinger. "Yes, I did," she replied. "Can't
say I think it's going to be a classic, 'though I thought the trick
with the moving letters was pretty neat. As for the storyline...
well, I've never been much into science fantasy myself."
The old woman took the book from Selena. "It's
not that difficult a concept to grasp, is it child? Reality is arbitrary,
the only absolute reality is that in which I, The Watcher, believe.
All other versions are false and quickly fragment into chaos. My
reality is the only constant."
"Why yours?"
"Because that's my job - that's what I do.
I'm The Watcher. I maintain reality."
"That's a pretty big job."
"Look, it's not that hard; even you should
be able to do it. You just go about you normal life and try not
to let your imagination run away with you."
"Why not?"
"Because then that becomes reality. It's all
explained quite clearly in the book, you know."
"What about if I imagined world peace,"
asked Selena. "Wouldn't that be a worthwhile reality to imagine?"
"Listen, girlie, you just concentrate on things
like making sure time behaves itself and the laws of physics remain
reasonably predicable. Leave the big issues to God."
"To God? Which God - The God?"
The old lady raised her walking stick and jabbed
it at the ceiling. "Yeah, you know, The Almighty, Allah, Buddha,
Numero Uno, The Big Cheese - whatever name you choose."
"You don't sound very awed."
"Oh well, the omnipotence thing gets a bit
stale after a couple of centuries. Knowing everything still doesn't
seem to help God where people are concerned. Anyway, I keep out
of politics and just do my job."
"Which is to go around creating Reality?"
The old woman rapped the head of her walking stick
on the counter. "I do wish you'd pay attention. The job is
to maintain reality, God creates Reality - that's why they call
him The Creator. You got your eye on the top job already?"
"Now look," said Selena, "I'm not
saying for a moment that I believe any of this, but just what has
it got to do with me?"
"Because you're the next Watcher. You're taking
over from me."
'What if I don't want to?" said Selena.
The old woman rolled her eyes towards the ceiling.
"Everyone told you the 'free will' thing was a bad idea, but
would you listen? Omnipotent, huh?" She lowered her eyes to
look at Selena again. "Listen, honey," the old woman said,
here voice suddenly gentle, "You haven't got a choice. It's
why you were born."
She handed the book back to Selena. "You know
what you have to do. There's nothing more to be said. It is time
I was going."
"But, what will happen to you? Do you... are
you dying?" asked Selena.
"Not so much dying, as retiring," said
the old woman, walking towards the door. "One of the perks
of the job is that you become immortal, but that doesn't mean you
don't get old and tired - I told you that omnipotence thing wasn't
all it's made out to be."
"You haven't even told me your name?"
The old lady chuckled. "My name? I thought
that would be obvious - it's Selena," she said, then closed
the door behind her.
Shortly after, Selena left the bookshop and made
her way through the crowds to the Jewelry shop. She stood outside
the window, looking down at the flower. Behind her, people jostled
past while the traffic rumbled and roared, but Selena took no notice.
She was concentrating on her wristwatch. She watched the second
hand sweep up to the number twelve - and stop. With a shrug, Selena
reached down and plucked the flower.
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